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In the last two months, we’ve all been experiencing a “new normal.” It’s tested our patience. It’s caused us concern. And it has shaken our confidence.

Confidence is an interesting thing. Everyone, at some time or another experiences a lack of it, no matter how accomplished or sure of themselves they might be.

For the past decade, as the founder and President of Sena-Series Media Training, I’ve coached high-level executives who despite being accomplished, were not confident when speaking to the press. I’ve coached hundreds of individuals yearning to be better speakers. I’ve coached aspiring performers and helped many reach their dreams. I’ve coached NASA scientists, lobbyists, artists and superstars. Some wanted to be more persuasive. Some wanted to lose their fear of socializing. Some wanted to climb further up the ladder. And some just wanted to be able to hold up a glass in front of a crowd and confidently, without anxiety, be able to say, “Cheers.”

These people were driven by different motivations, yet they all were ultimately looking for the same thing: increased confidence. And confidence is what they found.

Where does confidence come from? Some people think you either have it or you don’t. I disagree. I believe you can cultivate confidence. That’s right. You can learn to increase your confidence, in the same way that there are things you can do that improve your memory.

Confidence exercises. Confidence observations. Confidence practice. Confidence coaching.

Not long after I started my company, I started to notice trends and similarities in the psychological makeup of my clients. They had similar concerns. Similar fears. It didn’t matter if they were the president of a major corporation, a TV personality, or a young mother. When it comes to a lack of confidence, we all have more in common than we might think.

As word got around, and my client base increased, I found myself searching for more and more ways to help boost confidence. I developed exercises. Methods. The more success I had with positive results, the more I welcomed new challenges; more accurately, when someone wasn’t responding in the way I had hoped, I’d dive deeper into creating new approaches until they achieved their desired goal.

The results were spectacular, and as such, boosted my confidence as a coach. Instead of just reducing anxieties, I was changing attitudes. People who had been terrified of speaking in front of a crowd, were now telling me how excited they now were about doing so.

I love improving public speaking skills and I love teaching people how to be most effective on TV and the virtual screen. What I love best, however, is that I am able to boost their confidence….because that can change a life.

I consider myself a Confidence Catalyst.  A catalyst is defined as a person or event that causes a change, and I’m so proud to know that as a result of my coaching, my clients have indeed changed. They come to me for more confidence, but once they get it, the changes and benefits a more far-reaching than they’d ever imagined. With increased confidence, they take more risks. With increased confidence, they get promoted. With increased confidence, they have more success…and with more success, the have increased confidence. I call this the Confidence Cycle, and I’ve seen it happen again and again.

Here’s something I’ve found that may surprise you. Even the most confident people have bouts of insecurity; and they have felt as scared, as nervous, as reluctant as any of us before they found their success. What, then, set them apart and propelled them to greatness? They felt the fear and still moved forward. Sometimes they failed…but they failed forward.

What do I mean by that? I mean they learned something from the experience and applied it to the next; and without the “failure,” they would not have had the success.

My brother is a great example. He was the editor of a group of newspapers in the Detroit area, when the then-Governor of Michigan asked him to consider running for the state House of Representatives. The rationale was that a) he had already studied politics and government and in fact had a degree in Political Science; and b) it’s a pretty well-known fact that an editor’s knowledge of their city is second only to that of the city’s Mayor.

So, although he had never considered it before, my brother ran for State Rep. He was running against an incumbent, a very difficult challenge to be sure. He worked day and night, harder than perhaps he ever had. Campaigning was grueling but he did it with gusto…knowing full well in the end, he might lose. In fact, he was likely to lose, as he had held no prior office, and the opposing candidate, as I mentioned, was an incumbent, whom voters already knew and trusted.

Guess what happened? He lost. Was it a failure? In the technical sense, you could say yes. It was also a win. Why? Because he never expected to win. He knew he’d most likely lose, but what he didn’t expect was how closely he would come to winning. He lost by a very slim margin, against an incumbent, which was impressive; and this incumbent was in her very last term. When that seat opened up, who do you think was poised to take over?

By running for office, my brother accomplished so many amazing things. He raised his name recognition dramatically. He got to become very familiar with the issues and the constituents. He learned the ins-and-outs of running a campaign.  So, when the incumbent’s term came to an end, he was smarter and more prepared to run for office than ever – and when he ran again, guess what? HE WON.

My brother failed forward.

Ironically, during this same time period, I was in contention for what was considered the “most coveted job in show business”- replacing Kathie Lee Gifford on the incredibly popular show, “Live with Regis and Kathie Lee.” I’ll write about that more specifically at another time, but the short version of that story is that I made it from the original list of 5000 or so applicants/celebrities down to the “short list” of 500, to actually being invited to co-host a  couple of shows live, with the King himself, Regis Philbin. We got along so well and had such great chemistry that I was then asked back to do another two shows. Five million people or more watching. Live. With REGIS PHILBIN. The New York Post took notice. Entertainment Weekly said I was the probable front-runner.

And then guess what happened? Kelly Ripa happened. As I said, I will share this whole story another time – but for the purposes of this post, the point is by some definitions…I failed.

But – did I?

Because of the enormous spotlight on that nationwide host search, and the millions of people who tuned in, I was suddenly on the radar of one of the most prolific TV syndicators at the time, King World. This led to many meetings with high-level decision makers, continued opportunities, my job as a national news anchor at the Fox News Channel, and one of the most amazing experiences of my entire career – my lead role in the scripted comedic TV series, The Onion News Network.

So – literally, I failed forward.

In my mission as a Confidence Catalyst, it’s my goal to remind people that their success in life is directly tied to their confidence, teach them how to change their mindsets, and provide them with the tools that are necessary for that to happen. I will be their catalyst for change, in ways far more significant than they may even imagine. I will help them succeed – and show them how to take risks, fail and fail forward along the way.

People need to know this: It’s okay to fail. Failing at something the first time doesn’t mean that you can’t succeed the next. A loss is not always a loss, though it may be hard to see it that way at first. A loss can be a catalyst to a win.