We’ve all heard the saying, “Be ready when opportunity knocks!” I however, have a different take on this saying. I prefer, “When opportunity knocks, be ready to open the door, grab your bags, and bolt through it!”
Why are some people more successful than others? It’s not always a matter of talent or skill. When an opportunity arises, some people jump at it. Others hesitate.
Example, when I was working at E! Entertainment Television, I had several opportunities to do shoots in some pretty incredible destinations. Interviewing Michael Douglas at his family’s resort in Bermuda for example. Interviewing Ricky Martin in Puerto Rico. One of the great perks of the job was that I was usually allowed to take a friend along with me, all expenses paid. The only problem was, these trips came up suddenly and most people are not comfortable with making quick decisions.
That is NOT true of my friend Lisa Jey Schanley. She’s one of the people I admire most in this world. I met her years ago when I was starting my career and living in New Mexico. I was the marketing director at a large two-story restaurant; she handled their database entry and promotional events. The moment we met it was a “friend match” made in heaven.
Lisa came from a large family of entrepreneurs. Her parents had a printing business. One of her brothers, an advertising agency. And Lisa, although in her very early 20s, had a company of her own as well.
We became roommates, and lifelong friends.
Lisa was what I call a “doer.” The type of person who, when she says she’s going to do something, does it. When I was writing and producing segments for E!, Lisa visited me in LA and found my job to be fascinating. She asked me what it would take for her to be able to obtain a similar type of position. I told her that quite frankly, she would need to have some experience in a newsroom, and learn to write in a news style and produce news packages (stories).
So, what did she do? She called up her local TV station, and although she wasn’t a student, offered to be an intern so that she could get busy learning about this career she was considering…and boom-bada-bing! she started working in News. Just. Like. That
That’s Lisa. She comes with the mindset of, “You never know until you ask” and “The worst thing they can do is say no.”
Lisa is the epitome of confidence. She’s never met a challenge she didn’t accept; she’s never met a mountain she didn’t climb (literally).
When my travel opportunities came up, if I called Lisa Jey and asked her what her schedule was like over the next couple days, her immediate response was always an excited, “Where we going?” Not, “why?”or, “I’ve got this and that going on…”In her mind, she was always ready to jump at any opportunity and knew, that no matter what else she had going on, she would find a way to make it work. Keep in mind that in order for a companion to accompany me on these trips, they had to leave from LAX along with me. Lisa Jey was living in New Mexico.
Yes, when opportunity knocked at Lisa’s door, she was ready to walk through it.
Conversely, I had another friend who always hesitated. Quick decisions made her uncomfortable. When an opportunity came up for a trip that I knew she would love, she was my first choice of companion. She was another out-of-state friend, and in order to make this happen, she would need to get to Los Angeles that very same night. In return, she’d receive free flight, food and accommodations in a faraway, tropical paradise. I took the liberty of checking available flights before calling her. I asked what her schedule was like for the next few days. She wasn’t sure, she had some things to do, why was I asking? I told her this would sound crazy but I had an incredible travel opportunity, and in order to go with me, she would need to pack a bag and head to the airport in less than an hour to make the flight.
That type of pressure to make an immediate decision could make anybody’s head spin. Hers was spinning. I could hear the angst in her voice, as she wrestled between her desire to go, and the discomfort with the necessary immediacy of a decision. Though it could be a trip of a lifetime, it was too far out of her comfort zone to commit that quickly. Sadly, she said no.
I was disappointed but totally understood. Just as I was starting to consider other travel companions, though, my phone rang and it was her, reversing her decision. Yes! She was going!
It was a rare, once-in-a-lifetime getaway for the two of us, and we made memories and created “private jokes” that still creep into our conversations to this day.
It takes a lot of self-assuredness to say yes to something on the spot. New experiences, and the fear of the unknown, hold many of us back from moving forward into unknown territories, even if they offer the promise of excitement, enrichment, advancement or fame.
When I was offered the national entertainment job that would change the course of my career, and my life, I had less than 24 hours to make a decision. I said no, and then they came back with a bigger, better deal. I knew this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, but I also knew that to accept it would turn my current life upside down. It would require a long-distance move. It would involve such a giant step up in the career I was pursuing, and a whole new learning curve; and there would no doubt be challenges.
I said yes.
As an actor, you are taught to always say yes when asked by a casting person if you have a certain skill, no matter what it is. Can you ride a horse? Yes! Can you drive a stick shift? Yes! The logic behind this is that to say no would be to potentially lose the opportunity. Say yes to the opportunity, figure out the details later!
Not having the confidence to say yes to new opportunities can cost us more than just experiences. For some, it can mean missing out on financial gain.
I recently coached an Influencer with millions of followers. His success in this arena had generated multiple lucrative speaking opportunities, but the idea of standing on a stage addressing a large audience made him uncomfortable to the point of becoming physically ill; so, time and time again, he would turn those opportunities down.
But to his credit, he didn’t accept that fear. To build more confidence, he sought out my coaching services and faced his trepidation head on. We examined the psychology of what was holding him back, and identified what was at the core of his low confidence…..and we worked out a plan to begin building it back up.
To deal with the fear, we looked at worst-case scenarios. Once established that the worst thing that might happen by accepting these opportunities would be experiencing some embarrassment, he realized that that was more acceptable than missing out on what he might gain. There was some risk, but the rewards would be great.
Once the psychological aspect was addressed, we then pinpointed which skills he was lacking to allow him to move forward, and we worked on those.
Identifying roadblocks and removing them allows us to be more confident in the choices we make. If we lack confidence in our abilities, we can seek out training to improve them.
Wherever it is you want to go in life, you have to be ready and willing to do what it takes to get there. Learn the skills. Be flexible. Pack your bags, and be ready to go when your adventure begins.