During the time period following the end of World War II, around nine months after to be exact, there was a sizable increase in the number of children born. Those of us born within this timeframe are referred to as “baby boomers.”
Now, with “shelter-in-place” orders, it’s possible that once again the birth of babies will be on the rise. Unfortunately, word is that also likely to be on the rise are obesity and alcoholism.
It’s easy to understand. When we are stuck at home, that refrigerator filled with goodies and that cupboard filled with snacks become extra appealing; and everyone understands the connection between stress and comfort food. As for alcohol, for some it provides a great escape from the reality of the situation. Who wouldn’t want to numb themselves to some of the realities we’ve been experiencing lately?
I’m not in any way endorsing this, mind you. Just observing. It occurs to me that alcohol is not only used to numb oneself, but also to calm fears.
How many times have we heard references in the movies and television of a suggestion to someone about to do something nerve-racking, to “take a shot of courage!” The inference being that by becoming calm, it becomes easier to face the things that frighten us.
But how about instead of taking a shot of courage, sip a cup of confidence?
It may sound easier said than done, but in fact that’s what we’re looking for when we toss back that drink. Confidence that we will all rebound from the current situation. Confidence that we will nail that speech. Confidence that we will achieve our goals.
I can tell you from first-hand experience that having a drink of something strong to calm down before having to address a crowd is not the way to go. I’ve emceed many an event in my time, and have, on occasion in the past, had a glass of wine or a cocktail beforehand. It might have relaxed me a bit, but I found that I was not nearly as quick on my feet and sharp as I should’ve been. The realization of that actually reducedmy confidence. That was many years ago and I would never do it today. No one can be at their best when their senses are dulled.
I’ve essentially done confidence-coaching for the past decade. Whenever a client has asked me if I thought it was okay to “take something” before a presentation or big event, my answer is always the same: the only thing I would take is more time to prepare.
There are many techniques for boosting confidence, and once you master them, the success you experience is intoxicating itself.
The first thing you need to do is to have a really honest look at what’s making you uncomfortable. What are you afraid of? What would help ease your fears?
My experience has shown me that the number one thing that makes people uncomfortable is a fear of the unknown. This greatly explains why most of us are extremely uncomfortable during the current situation.
Without knowing what to expect, we feel uncertain. It’s why so many people stay in the wrong relationships, rather than entering into a new one. “The devil you know is better than the devil you don’t.” It’s why people stay in jobs that don’t fulfill them, rather than looking for a new one that might. We feel safe when we can predict what’s going to happen; we feel unnerved when we can’t.
When faced with a task that seems intimidating, empower yourself and build your confidence to tackle it by reducing as many of the unknown elements as possible. Ask questions. Have to give a presentation? How many people will be in the room? Who will make up the audience? What is the setup of the room? Will you have a microphone? Will you be required to have visual aids? Will there be a Q&A afterwards?
Knowledge is power, and walking into a room not knowing any of the above would make anybody feel ill at ease.
Starting a new job? Who will you be reporting to? Who will you be supervising? How will your performance be measured? How much travel will take place? Who will you interact with every day?
Another way to build confidence is to do a “run-through.” Obviously, if it’s a speech you’re preparing, you’ll want to practice it out loud…but this technique can be applied to almost anything. If you are scheduled for an important meeting with someone who you’re meeting for the first time, whether it be for a job interview, a sales meeting, or something of a personal nature, do a run through in advance. The day before, drive to the location and take note of how long it takes to get there. Examine the parking situation so you can be sure to allow enough time for parking once you arrive. Is there a “cash only” parking gate? How many of us have arrived at such a meeting with “time to spare”, only to find that parking took an extra 12 to 15 minutes. That in turn causes stress, which makes us anxious and walking into a room like that immediately shakes our confidence.
Want to increase your confidence even more? Do a little searching online about the person you’re scheduled to meet with and see what you can find. Most people are active on social media of some type, and a little research can provide you with an insight to commonalities, interests and activities, and beliefs.
Cultivating confidence isn’t something that happens overnight, but by employing regular efforts to do so will result in great rewards.
In this time of great uncertainty, many of us are concerned about our futures, our businesses, and our jobs. So why not take this time to do a crash course in confidence building? Increase your value as an employee by brushing up on another language. Increase your proficiency as an entrepreneur by learning skills that generally would require the expense of hiring someone else.
And here’s a simple thing you can do that is a surprising confidence builder: read out loud every day. The more you read out loud, the more articulate you become. The more articulate you become, the more authoritative you will sound. The more authoritative you sound, the more respect you will gain…the more respect you feel from others, the more confident you will feel.
Have confidence in your ability to be resilient; have confidence that there are better days ahead. Most of all, stay safe and healthy, and have confidence in yourself. Cheers!